Every time you do something new, I swear I am going to write it down. I never want to forget the days! And every time you turn a month older, I swear I am going to write about all the incredible things you're doing. It turns out, I am too enthralled to step away from you to write about you. So hear I am, pumping to my hearts content at work, poking these words away on my phone.
You 8 months old in two days, which just so happens to be my 31st birthday. I love that you are exactly 30 years and five months younger than me.
I wanted you to stay a baby forever. I still do. I swore I wouldn't like the changes. I wanted my tiny, dependent infant in my arms forever. I can't say I don't still feel that way. I'm in two places and probably will always be. I want my tiny baby, but with every new development my heart grows, bursting with pride. I thought I would explode when you started crawling. I'm still standing. Talking on the other hand, that takes me to my knees. I have never heard a sweeter sound than your, "dadadada". It's so different than all the silly blowey, gurgly noises you have made thus far. You speak so sweetly, yet with such conviction - very similar to your actions.
Here is a mile marker of your actions:
Sitting on your own
Crawling
This week, you also started rolling your tongue and wrinkling your nose to snort. We can't keep you on your changing table without you flipping over to crawl.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Sunday, June 26, 2016
7 Weeks
I wish I could write more, my dear boy; however, I much prefer you sleeping on me to sitting on a computer/to doing anything really at all. This is why I have 20 thank you cards that I have yet to write...
You are 7 weeks old today. You are changing and growing in ways I could not imagine. It's the little things: your eyelashes have come in, blonde and curling, the wrinkles in your legs are turning into rolls, you have dirt under your nails because you grab everything.
You grab everything! It's becoming more intentional - holding my shirt when your hungry, pulling my hair, grabbing the boob when you're hungry. I look forward to this becoming even more obvious. You're standing... mostly when your frustrated and still hungry, or just needing exercise. You NEED exercise! You love to kick and punch still, but your favorite is pushing across the bed with our hands as a back board. You make such a manly grunt as you go. We love it! Until it turns to tears...
Your neck is so strong. You hold it up steady, again the best when you're hungry. You're a great communicator/I think we understand each other better each day. The saying is true, "it doesn't get easier, you get better at it." Every day is a new challenge with you, different cries, pains and frustrations, but we just go through the list and find what it is you need.
Your cries are all different and mean different things. Your hungry cry is a sweet Meh sound. It's our favorite. Now, when you're in the nursery, lying down to eat, you don't cry, you trust and know what's coming.
You LOVE lights - the sparkly lights in the changing area, the windows, or anything contrasting and bright. We call any window the baby sitter - you can just sit and stare.
Your sleeps are ever-changing as we are told or learn different things. Your favorite is sleeping on us, next to sleeping in bed with us on your stomach which we recently heard is a no no. Too bad because our alternative is you on your back making grunt noises all night, me pacifying you, while my arm falls asleep.
You don't really care about rocking. You love going outside. You're GREAT in restaurants, either wide awake, kicking and looking around or fast asleep. You've also done brilliantly shopping. Frankly, you're an easy baby all around. We just have to make sure you're well fed. You don't hardly even fuss when you have a dirty diaper.
You're down to pooping about once/day and it tends to be a blowout.
I've written this on my phone with you on my chest - the only way anything gets done anymore. You're starting to stir which means grubbing time! I will indulge this at anytime so you grow big and healthy. Which by the way, everyone says you look so healthy. You have big, bright, alert eyes. You're really just gorgeous and perfect and I feel like the luckiest mom to have ever lived. I'm grateful for every second you share with me.
Thursday, May 19, 2016
Your Birth Story
Odin,
You may not want to read this [so don't], but I wanted there to be a record. So often people can't remember the details, and apparently, I won't either. It's true what they say though, once you are here, all the pain and challenges disappear. It's true. I would take all the pain all over again, knowing you were the reward. For the record, I felt this way prior to labor as well.
The story goes, you were technically due on May 7th, but prior to going to the doctor, the internet told us May 8th. We kept our story consistent and told everyone May 8th, also because that was Mother's Day and I could charmingly say that that was your day. Funny thing, that was exactly when you came. I told everyone that you would go over because you were such a peanut (small belly in comparison), but secretly I am so glad you didn't torture me and go over. I was dying to meet you (see all prior entries)!
On May 7th, I started having what felt like period cramps in my back. I didn't think much of it, because I didn't want to get excited and plenty of people get such pains throughout their pregnancies. Low and behold at 1:45am on May 8th, I was awoken with legit cramps. I rolled over to your dad and said, "do you want to know that I am having cramps." and the sleepy love jolted up saying, "Yes, I am your support person." This is how he has been throughout the experience - feeding me well, taking care of me, ensuring both of our health. The cramps were consistent, getting us excited, until I got out of bed... they were then random all afternoon. At about 2pm (after 12 hrs of pre-labor), it all changed like that. Every 5 minutes I was having contractions. I became non-communicative, as your dad read in the book, which gave him much guidance and comfort in knowledge. At 3:15pm we arrived at OMC's Women's Health Pavilion. I was dilated to 8cm. They measured your vitals and both of us were doing well. I labored in the tub for 45 minutes. I didn't want essential oils or music as I anticipated, bossing your dad around to shut everything off. He was so thoughtful to want to help, rub my back, etc. I was incapable of thinking about anything else but the pain, and breathing. I began my labor contractions in the tub, having about three there. I felt my water break and heard a pop. It scared me. They got me out of the tub, your dad and a nurse walking me to the bed. They raised the bed, rushed to get setup, the midwife (Pat Hinck?!) held a rag and sat underneath me. As I stood, I pushed four times, each more painful. I screamed like a beast. Your dad had no idea I could even make those noises. I guess that's where my power comes from. I could only just feel the top of your head. I didn't think I could do anymore, so by push four, you rocketed out in one shot. You were sunny side-up, hence the back labor. Your dad yelled, "It's a BOY!" They placed you between my legs. We nuzzled face to face, waited for your chord to stop pumping, then your dad cut it.
The rest is a blur of cleanups, and stitches and bliss. You were here. That is the only part of the story that mattered. I now had you in my arms, the only place I every wanted you. I will ever want you. If you are anywhere else, it will be too far. I love you, Odin.
You may not want to read this [so don't], but I wanted there to be a record. So often people can't remember the details, and apparently, I won't either. It's true what they say though, once you are here, all the pain and challenges disappear. It's true. I would take all the pain all over again, knowing you were the reward. For the record, I felt this way prior to labor as well.
The story goes, you were technically due on May 7th, but prior to going to the doctor, the internet told us May 8th. We kept our story consistent and told everyone May 8th, also because that was Mother's Day and I could charmingly say that that was your day. Funny thing, that was exactly when you came. I told everyone that you would go over because you were such a peanut (small belly in comparison), but secretly I am so glad you didn't torture me and go over. I was dying to meet you (see all prior entries)!
On May 7th, I started having what felt like period cramps in my back. I didn't think much of it, because I didn't want to get excited and plenty of people get such pains throughout their pregnancies. Low and behold at 1:45am on May 8th, I was awoken with legit cramps. I rolled over to your dad and said, "do you want to know that I am having cramps." and the sleepy love jolted up saying, "Yes, I am your support person." This is how he has been throughout the experience - feeding me well, taking care of me, ensuring both of our health. The cramps were consistent, getting us excited, until I got out of bed... they were then random all afternoon. At about 2pm (after 12 hrs of pre-labor), it all changed like that. Every 5 minutes I was having contractions. I became non-communicative, as your dad read in the book, which gave him much guidance and comfort in knowledge. At 3:15pm we arrived at OMC's Women's Health Pavilion. I was dilated to 8cm. They measured your vitals and both of us were doing well. I labored in the tub for 45 minutes. I didn't want essential oils or music as I anticipated, bossing your dad around to shut everything off. He was so thoughtful to want to help, rub my back, etc. I was incapable of thinking about anything else but the pain, and breathing. I began my labor contractions in the tub, having about three there. I felt my water break and heard a pop. It scared me. They got me out of the tub, your dad and a nurse walking me to the bed. They raised the bed, rushed to get setup, the midwife (Pat Hinck?!) held a rag and sat underneath me. As I stood, I pushed four times, each more painful. I screamed like a beast. Your dad had no idea I could even make those noises. I guess that's where my power comes from. I could only just feel the top of your head. I didn't think I could do anymore, so by push four, you rocketed out in one shot. You were sunny side-up, hence the back labor. Your dad yelled, "It's a BOY!" They placed you between my legs. We nuzzled face to face, waited for your chord to stop pumping, then your dad cut it.
The rest is a blur of cleanups, and stitches and bliss. You were here. That is the only part of the story that mattered. I now had you in my arms, the only place I every wanted you. I will ever want you. If you are anywhere else, it will be too far. I love you, Odin.
You're HERE!
Dear Baby Odin,
You are lying happily next to me, kicking, throwing your arms wildly as I write this. You are now 11 days old and the perfect boy. You are healthy and lively and funny and easy. We could not have asked for anything more. From night one, you latched like a dream. You came out 6lbs 9oz and 19.25 inches at 4:36pm on May 8, 2016, Mother's Day (right on time, kind of). Since then, you have been a good eater, sleeper, pooper and player. It's funny that those things matter, but they do. They indicate your health in all ways, and that is so very very important.
What I love about you beyond the health and ease are your faces, your many many faces! You are getting dimples now and smiling more every day. You lock eyes with me when I feed you. You make the stinking cutest noises I have ever heard on EARTH! It's like you wrote the book on cute noises. When you sleep, you weeze and your dad and I appreciate that. We love it, because we love you, and we love that you let us know you are breathing. Thank you for your consideration ;) I love that you look like your dad. Your hair is blonde when it's on top is blonde (when clean) and pretty thin. That's normal - don't develop a complex about that, there will be plenty of time for that in your twenties. You look like your dad - he's got a pretty baby face and so do you. You also have his long skinny legs. With those legs you KICK and then snap them back just as quickly. You punch your arms randomly. You wiggle your fingers like I do, in weird contorted ways (it makes me proud).
When you feed, you do the funniest things, again, like you wrote the book on it. You cry to let me know you are hungry, which is just great! You throw your mouth around wildly from side to side until you latch and you make beast like noise. Sometimes your crazy arms block the boob which is also funny as it frustrates you. Your gulps are high pitched and adorable. Often times you poop or fart during this process because it is literally in one out the other. You are so healthy and I am so grateful. You fart like your daddy. It makes me laugh so hard - you make me laugh so hard. You have brought more joy to my life than I ever knew was possible.
Since your birth, we have gone to the doctor twice. You had dropped weight, so they wanted to check on that (you're back up sooner than expected). Your belly has filled out, despite being skinny all over, you have a barrel there. You peed in the two places we set you down at at the doc. You got a shot, and I wept like a baby (you did not).
Other than that, we hang out in bed a lot (where we eat and sleep). You chill on your dad's and my chest. We go outside on walks, or lie in the backyard. The weather is perfect now - way to pick a due date. Your dog doesn't know what to think of you [yet], but she will love you when you're walking and giving her food. Speaking of walking, we see you moving in no time. You crawl up your dad's chest and have really strong baby legs. You can practically roll over too.
Slow down. We love you so much, we just want you to stay this way forever. You won't, and apparently we will love the future steps as well. I can't imagine loving anything more than you right now, exactly how you are.
Same goes for your dad... he's so mad about you. He is the peace in your life and always should be. I have never heard him speak so sweetly, softly, and lovingly to anyone or anything. Don't use this against us. We will do anything for you.
All the love in two human's hearts... and then some.
You are lying happily next to me, kicking, throwing your arms wildly as I write this. You are now 11 days old and the perfect boy. You are healthy and lively and funny and easy. We could not have asked for anything more. From night one, you latched like a dream. You came out 6lbs 9oz and 19.25 inches at 4:36pm on May 8, 2016, Mother's Day (right on time, kind of). Since then, you have been a good eater, sleeper, pooper and player. It's funny that those things matter, but they do. They indicate your health in all ways, and that is so very very important.
What I love about you beyond the health and ease are your faces, your many many faces! You are getting dimples now and smiling more every day. You lock eyes with me when I feed you. You make the stinking cutest noises I have ever heard on EARTH! It's like you wrote the book on cute noises. When you sleep, you weeze and your dad and I appreciate that. We love it, because we love you, and we love that you let us know you are breathing. Thank you for your consideration ;) I love that you look like your dad. Your hair is blonde when it's on top is blonde (when clean) and pretty thin. That's normal - don't develop a complex about that, there will be plenty of time for that in your twenties. You look like your dad - he's got a pretty baby face and so do you. You also have his long skinny legs. With those legs you KICK and then snap them back just as quickly. You punch your arms randomly. You wiggle your fingers like I do, in weird contorted ways (it makes me proud).
When you feed, you do the funniest things, again, like you wrote the book on it. You cry to let me know you are hungry, which is just great! You throw your mouth around wildly from side to side until you latch and you make beast like noise. Sometimes your crazy arms block the boob which is also funny as it frustrates you. Your gulps are high pitched and adorable. Often times you poop or fart during this process because it is literally in one out the other. You are so healthy and I am so grateful. You fart like your daddy. It makes me laugh so hard - you make me laugh so hard. You have brought more joy to my life than I ever knew was possible.
Since your birth, we have gone to the doctor twice. You had dropped weight, so they wanted to check on that (you're back up sooner than expected). Your belly has filled out, despite being skinny all over, you have a barrel there. You peed in the two places we set you down at at the doc. You got a shot, and I wept like a baby (you did not).
Other than that, we hang out in bed a lot (where we eat and sleep). You chill on your dad's and my chest. We go outside on walks, or lie in the backyard. The weather is perfect now - way to pick a due date. Your dog doesn't know what to think of you [yet], but she will love you when you're walking and giving her food. Speaking of walking, we see you moving in no time. You crawl up your dad's chest and have really strong baby legs. You can practically roll over too.
Slow down. We love you so much, we just want you to stay this way forever. You won't, and apparently we will love the future steps as well. I can't imagine loving anything more than you right now, exactly how you are.
Same goes for your dad... he's so mad about you. He is the peace in your life and always should be. I have never heard him speak so sweetly, softly, and lovingly to anyone or anything. Don't use this against us. We will do anything for you.
All the love in two human's hearts... and then some.
Friday, May 6, 2016
ANY DAY NOW!!!
Baby,
I went to the doctor yesterday, and they said ANY DAY NOW!!! Annie, the midwife's actual words were, "I would be surprised if you made it through the weekend." It's Friday now, Sunday is Mother's Day, so if you could make me a mother by then, that'd be much appreciated (winky kissy face). This means you may have to share your birthday with my holiday, but for me, there is nothing more appropriate to celebrate.
Yesterday, my cervix had softened to 80% and I was dilated to 2cm. The midwife was so surprised when she reached in, how quickly she felt your tiny little head. You were RIGHT THERE, head down, READY TO GO! No longer are you keeping me up at night with movement, pee breaks, and hip adjustments, but the thought of NOW, maybe now?!
I went to the doctor yesterday, and they said ANY DAY NOW!!! Annie, the midwife's actual words were, "I would be surprised if you made it through the weekend." It's Friday now, Sunday is Mother's Day, so if you could make me a mother by then, that'd be much appreciated (winky kissy face). This means you may have to share your birthday with my holiday, but for me, there is nothing more appropriate to celebrate.
Yesterday, my cervix had softened to 80% and I was dilated to 2cm. The midwife was so surprised when she reached in, how quickly she felt your tiny little head. You were RIGHT THERE, head down, READY TO GO! No longer are you keeping me up at night with movement, pee breaks, and hip adjustments, but the thought of NOW, maybe now?!
Monday, May 2, 2016
May Baby
When we woke up yesterday, your dad said, "looks like we won't be having an April baby." And it's true! You are a Taurus, a May baby no matter what now (I'd be induced no later than May 21st). Speaking of your birthday, would you like to give us a little warning as to when that would be? We are sitting at a very health 39 weeks now, and you are welcome to come into this world any time. I have been very patiently waiting for the almost ten months. Now, I can finally say things like, "I can't wait!" For the longest time, I could wait, I could wait for you to fully develop, because I didn't want you to start off struggling. You are big and strong and fat and fully developed now, so go ahead and start throwing those really painful contractions my way, OK?
Last week, on our way home from visiting your friend Sloane, and your uncle Jared, you were shifting around like crazy, very different shifting. When we finally got out of the car, I could tell you had dropped. This week's doctor appointment, the midwife said that you head was deep down. I was 1cm dilated and my cervix was medium (neither mean a whole lot, besides the ball has started rolling). I also lost part of my mucus plug on Saturday morning. It could still be another three weeks till we get to meet you though. Please don't make me wait that long!
Saturday, besides losing my plug, was a big day. Your uncle Jared and aunt Heather announced that they will be having a baby BOY, Mason Henry Hinkel. Little do you know right now, that nugget of a man will be your best friend and you will grow up together. I've talked about it before, but it's even more real now.
As with everything these days, I question if this will be "my last", my last post to you while you are in my belly. This morning I shaved my legs and painted my toe nails. Will those be the last times I do that before you are here? Although, I look forward to doing both of those when you're hear rather than reaching around you all the time. You dad and I killed it on our chores list this weekend, thinking the whole time, will this be the last time I vacuum without you strapped to my chest, etc. The answer is that only you know. Only you know what gender you are, and when you will finally pay us a visit. Go easy on me on your way out, would ya? ;)
I hope this is my last post...
Last week, on our way home from visiting your friend Sloane, and your uncle Jared, you were shifting around like crazy, very different shifting. When we finally got out of the car, I could tell you had dropped. This week's doctor appointment, the midwife said that you head was deep down. I was 1cm dilated and my cervix was medium (neither mean a whole lot, besides the ball has started rolling). I also lost part of my mucus plug on Saturday morning. It could still be another three weeks till we get to meet you though. Please don't make me wait that long!
Saturday, besides losing my plug, was a big day. Your uncle Jared and aunt Heather announced that they will be having a baby BOY, Mason Henry Hinkel. Little do you know right now, that nugget of a man will be your best friend and you will grow up together. I've talked about it before, but it's even more real now.
As with everything these days, I question if this will be "my last", my last post to you while you are in my belly. This morning I shaved my legs and painted my toe nails. Will those be the last times I do that before you are here? Although, I look forward to doing both of those when you're hear rather than reaching around you all the time. You dad and I killed it on our chores list this weekend, thinking the whole time, will this be the last time I vacuum without you strapped to my chest, etc. The answer is that only you know. Only you know what gender you are, and when you will finally pay us a visit. Go easy on me on your way out, would ya? ;)
I hope this is my last post...
Monday, April 11, 2016
Update at 36 weeks
Hey Baby!
This is how your father addresses you these days. It's usually something to the extent of, "hey baby, what are you doing in there?" as you dramatically throw your limbs around. Your movements these days are so grandiose. I know where you are located (feet in left rib, butt in right rib, spin down the right side into hip, and head in left hip, hands punching in pelivs). It's so fun to be able to identify your movements with the body parts - your kicks are strong but slow, you push your hips out the same, and your hands flutter down quickly. Yesterday, I could have sworn that you ran your fingers individually against my lower stomach. It got me thinking about those hands, how wrinkly they'll be when you come out, your tiny nails, and wrinkled wrists.
I haven't updated too much lately, as you are the easiest, most dramatic baby ever. You don't make me sick, you let me sleep for the most part, and you have given me zero health issues. We had our baby shower for you yesterday. You loved it! We ate well, you got plenty of massages and every conversation was about you, and how excited everyone is to meet you... but no one more than me. Not a single person is awaiting your arrival more than your mamma. I cry at the thought. It's so beautiful that I have been given the gift of carrying you, nourishing you, and birthing you.
My mom made the "birthing you" part very real yesterday. She said that each of her kids (your three uncles, and myself) were all about two weeks early. I have shared a very similar pregnancy to my mother (easy in every way), and anticipate a similar birth (I could only be so lucky). This would put our great meet-date two weeks ago. That makes being a mother SO SO REAL, which it has not yet. I am also prepared to go a few weeks over, so there is a conflicting feeling of panic and get everything ready in preparation vs. continue to enjoy the beauty that is, working hard at work, making plans, etc.
The truth is, regardless of when you come, you will be the most loved baby on earth, potentially ever. We are or will make ourselves be ready when you decide you have incubated long enough. I just hope you want to get good and chubby and don't rush it. I don't quite feel "big" enough to burst yet. You also haven't given me any warning signs (Braxton Hicks, etc.).
If I am as poor at updating this as my track record has shown thus far, the next post may be an update on your name, height and weight!
I love you,
Mamma
This is how your father addresses you these days. It's usually something to the extent of, "hey baby, what are you doing in there?" as you dramatically throw your limbs around. Your movements these days are so grandiose. I know where you are located (feet in left rib, butt in right rib, spin down the right side into hip, and head in left hip, hands punching in pelivs). It's so fun to be able to identify your movements with the body parts - your kicks are strong but slow, you push your hips out the same, and your hands flutter down quickly. Yesterday, I could have sworn that you ran your fingers individually against my lower stomach. It got me thinking about those hands, how wrinkly they'll be when you come out, your tiny nails, and wrinkled wrists.
I haven't updated too much lately, as you are the easiest, most dramatic baby ever. You don't make me sick, you let me sleep for the most part, and you have given me zero health issues. We had our baby shower for you yesterday. You loved it! We ate well, you got plenty of massages and every conversation was about you, and how excited everyone is to meet you... but no one more than me. Not a single person is awaiting your arrival more than your mamma. I cry at the thought. It's so beautiful that I have been given the gift of carrying you, nourishing you, and birthing you.
My mom made the "birthing you" part very real yesterday. She said that each of her kids (your three uncles, and myself) were all about two weeks early. I have shared a very similar pregnancy to my mother (easy in every way), and anticipate a similar birth (I could only be so lucky). This would put our great meet-date two weeks ago. That makes being a mother SO SO REAL, which it has not yet. I am also prepared to go a few weeks over, so there is a conflicting feeling of panic and get everything ready in preparation vs. continue to enjoy the beauty that is, working hard at work, making plans, etc.
The truth is, regardless of when you come, you will be the most loved baby on earth, potentially ever. We are or will make ourselves be ready when you decide you have incubated long enough. I just hope you want to get good and chubby and don't rush it. I don't quite feel "big" enough to burst yet. You also haven't given me any warning signs (Braxton Hicks, etc.).
If I am as poor at updating this as my track record has shown thus far, the next post may be an update on your name, height and weight!
I love you,
Mamma
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