8 Months

Every time you do something new, I swear I am going to write it down. I never want to forget the days! And every time you turn a month older, I swear I am going to write about all the incredible things you're doing. It turns out, I am too enthralled to step away from you to write about you. So hear I am, pumping to my hearts content at work, poking these words away on my phone.

You 8 months old in two days, which just so happens to be my 31st birthday. I love that you are exactly 30 years and five months younger than me.

I wanted you to stay a baby forever. I still do. I swore I wouldn't like the changes. I wanted my tiny, dependent infant in my arms forever. I can't say I don't still feel that way. I'm in two places and probably will always be. I want my tiny baby, but with every new development my heart grows, bursting with pride. I thought I would explode when you started crawling. I'm still standing. Talking on the other hand, that takes me to my knees. I have never heard a sweeter sound than your, "dadadada". It's so different than all the silly blowey, gurgly noises you have made thus far. You speak so sweetly, yet with such conviction - very similar to your actions.

Here is a mile marker of your actions:
Sitting on your own
Crawling

This week, you also started rolling your tongue and wrinkling your nose to snort. We can't keep you on your changing table without you flipping over to crawl.

7 Weeks

I wish I could write more, my dear boy; however, I much prefer you sleeping on me to sitting on a computer/to doing anything really at all. This is why I have 20 thank you cards that I have yet to write...

You are 7 weeks old today. You are changing and growing in ways I could not imagine. It's the little things: your eyelashes have come in, blonde and curling, the wrinkles in your legs are turning into rolls, you have dirt under your nails because you grab everything. 

You grab everything! It's becoming more intentional - holding my shirt when your hungry, pulling my hair, grabbing the boob when you're hungry. I look forward to this becoming even more obvious. You're standing... mostly when your frustrated and still hungry, or just needing exercise. You NEED exercise! You love to kick and punch still, but your favorite is pushing across the bed with our hands as a back board. You make such a manly grunt as you go. We love it! Until it turns to tears...

Your neck is so strong. You hold it up steady, again the best when you're hungry. You're a great communicator/I think we understand each other better each day. The saying is true, "it doesn't get easier, you get better at it." Every day is a new challenge with you, different cries, pains and frustrations, but we just go through the list and find what it is you need.  

Your cries are all different and mean different things. Your hungry cry is a sweet Meh sound. It's our favorite. Now, when you're in the nursery, lying down to eat, you don't cry, you trust and know what's coming. 

You LOVE lights - the sparkly lights in the changing area, the windows, or anything contrasting and bright. We call any window the baby sitter - you can just sit and stare. 

Your sleeps are ever-changing as we are told or learn different things. Your favorite is sleeping on us, next to sleeping in bed with us on your stomach which we recently heard is a no no. Too bad because our alternative is you on your back making grunt noises all night, me pacifying you, while my arm falls asleep. 

You don't really care about rocking. You love going outside. You're GREAT in restaurants, either wide awake, kicking and looking around or fast asleep. You've also done brilliantly shopping. Frankly, you're an easy baby all around. We just have to make sure you're well fed. You don't hardly even fuss when you have a dirty diaper. 

You're down to pooping about once/day and it tends to be a blowout. 

I've written this on my phone with you on my chest - the only way anything gets done anymore. You're starting to stir which means grubbing time! I will indulge this at anytime so you grow big and healthy. Which by the way, everyone says you look so healthy. You have big, bright, alert eyes. You're really just gorgeous and perfect and I feel like the luckiest mom to have ever lived. I'm grateful for every second you share with me. 

Your Birth Story

Odin,

You may not want to read this [so don't], but I wanted there to be a record. So often people can't remember the details, and apparently, I won't either. It's true what they say though, once you are here, all the pain and challenges disappear. It's true. I would take all the pain all over again, knowing you were the reward. For the record, I felt this way prior to labor as well.

The story goes, you were technically due on May 7th, but prior to going to the doctor, the internet told us May 8th. We kept our story consistent and told everyone May 8th, also because that was Mother's Day and I could charmingly say that that was your day. Funny thing, that was exactly when you came. I told everyone that you would go over because you were such a peanut (small belly in comparison), but secretly I am so glad you didn't torture me and go over. I was dying to meet you (see all prior entries)!

On May 7th, I started having what felt like period cramps in my back. I didn't think much of it, because I didn't want to get excited and plenty of people get such pains throughout their pregnancies. Low and behold at 1:45am on May 8th, I was awoken with legit cramps. I rolled over to your dad and said, "do you want to know that I am having cramps." and the sleepy love jolted up saying, "Yes, I am your support person." This is how he has been throughout the experience - feeding me well, taking care of me, ensuring both of our health. The cramps were consistent, getting us excited, until I got out of bed... they were then random all afternoon. At about 2pm (after 12 hrs of pre-labor), it all changed like that. Every 5 minutes I was having contractions. I became non-communicative, as your dad read in the book, which gave him much guidance and comfort in knowledge. At 3:15pm we arrived at OMC's Women's Health Pavilion. I was dilated to 8cm. They measured your vitals and both of us were doing well. I labored in the tub for 45 minutes. I didn't want essential oils or music as I anticipated, bossing your dad around to shut everything off. He was so thoughtful to want to help, rub my back, etc. I was incapable of thinking about anything else but the pain, and breathing. I began my labor contractions in the tub, having about three there. I felt my water break and heard a pop. It scared me. They got me out of the tub, your dad and a nurse walking me to the bed. They raised the bed, rushed to get setup, the midwife (Pat Hinck?!) held a rag and sat underneath me. As I stood, I pushed four times, each more painful. I screamed like a beast. Your dad had no idea I could even make those noises. I guess that's where my power comes from. I could only just feel the top of your head. I didn't think I could do anymore, so by push four, you rocketed out in one shot. You were sunny side-up, hence the back labor. Your dad yelled, "It's a BOY!" They placed you between my legs. We nuzzled face to face, waited for your chord to stop pumping, then your dad cut it.

The rest is a blur of cleanups, and stitches and bliss. You were here. That is the only part of the story that mattered. I now had you in my arms, the only place I every wanted you. I will ever want you. If you are anywhere else, it will be too far. I love you, Odin.

You're HERE!

Dear Baby Odin,

You are lying happily next to me, kicking, throwing your arms wildly as I write this. You are now 11 days old and the perfect boy. You are healthy and lively and funny and easy. We could not have asked for anything more. From night one, you latched like a dream. You came out 6lbs 9oz and 19.25 inches at 4:36pm on May 8, 2016, Mother's Day (right on time, kind of). Since then, you have been a good eater, sleeper, pooper and player. It's funny that those things matter, but they do. They indicate your health in all ways, and that is so very very important.

What I love about you beyond the health and ease are your faces, your many many faces! You are getting dimples now and smiling more every day. You lock eyes with me when I feed you. You make the stinking cutest noises I have ever heard on EARTH! It's like you wrote the book on cute noises. When you sleep, you weeze and your dad and I appreciate that. We love it, because we love you, and we love that you let us know you are breathing. Thank you for your consideration ;) I love that you look like your dad. Your hair is blonde when it's on top is blonde (when clean) and pretty thin. That's normal - don't develop a complex about that, there will be plenty of time for that in your twenties. You look like your dad - he's got a pretty baby face and so do you. You also have his long skinny legs. With those legs you KICK and then snap them back just as quickly. You punch your arms randomly. You wiggle your fingers like I do, in weird contorted ways (it makes me proud).

When you feed, you do the funniest things, again, like you wrote the book on it. You cry to let me know you are hungry, which is just great! You throw your mouth around wildly from side to side until you latch and you make beast like noise. Sometimes your crazy arms block the boob which is also funny as it frustrates you. Your gulps are high pitched and adorable. Often times you poop or fart during this process because it is literally in one out the other. You are so healthy and I am so grateful. You fart like your daddy. It makes me laugh so hard - you make me laugh so hard. You have brought more joy to my life than I ever knew was possible.

Since your birth, we have gone to the doctor twice. You had dropped weight, so they wanted to check on that (you're back up sooner than expected). Your belly has filled out, despite being skinny all over, you have a barrel there. You peed in the two places we set you down at at the doc. You got a shot, and I wept like a baby (you did not).

Other than that, we hang out in bed a lot (where we eat and sleep). You chill on your dad's and my chest. We go outside on walks, or lie in the backyard. The weather is perfect now - way to pick a due date. Your dog doesn't know what to think of you [yet], but she will love you when you're walking and giving her food. Speaking of walking, we see you moving in no time. You crawl up your dad's chest and have really strong baby legs. You can practically roll over too.

Slow down. We love you so much, we just want you to stay this way forever. You won't, and apparently we will love the future steps as well. I can't imagine loving anything more than you right now, exactly how you are.

Same goes for your dad... he's so mad about you. He is the peace in your life and always should be. I have never heard him speak so sweetly, softly, and lovingly to anyone or anything. Don't use this against us. We will do anything for you.

All the love in two human's hearts... and then some.

ANY DAY NOW!!!

Baby,

I went to the doctor yesterday, and they said ANY DAY NOW!!! Annie, the midwife's actual words were, "I would be surprised if you made it through the weekend." It's Friday now, Sunday is Mother's Day, so if you could make me a mother by then, that'd be much appreciated (winky kissy face). This means you may have to share your birthday with my holiday, but for me, there is nothing more appropriate to celebrate.

Yesterday, my cervix had softened to 80% and I was dilated to 2cm. The midwife was so surprised when she reached in, how quickly she felt your tiny little head. You were RIGHT THERE, head down, READY TO GO! No longer are you keeping me up at night with movement, pee breaks, and hip adjustments, but the thought of NOW, maybe now?!

May Baby

When we woke up yesterday, your dad said, "looks like we won't be having an April baby." And it's true! You are a Taurus, a May baby no matter what now (I'd be induced no later than May 21st). Speaking of your birthday, would you like to give us a little warning as to when that would be? We are sitting at a very health 39 weeks now, and you are welcome to come into this world any time. I have been very patiently waiting for the almost ten months. Now, I can finally say things like, "I can't wait!" For the longest time, I could wait, I could wait for you to fully develop, because I didn't want you to start off struggling. You are big and strong and fat and fully developed now, so go ahead and start throwing those really painful contractions my way, OK?

Last week, on our way home from visiting your friend Sloane, and your uncle Jared, you were shifting around like crazy, very different shifting. When we finally got out of the car, I could tell you had dropped. This week's doctor appointment, the midwife said that you head was deep down. I was 1cm dilated and my cervix was medium (neither mean a whole lot, besides the ball has started rolling). I also lost part of my mucus plug on Saturday morning. It could still be another three weeks till we get to meet you though. Please don't make me wait that long!

Saturday, besides losing my plug, was a big day. Your uncle Jared and aunt Heather announced that they will be having a baby BOY, Mason Henry Hinkel. Little do you know right now, that nugget of a man will be your best friend and you will grow up together. I've talked about it before, but it's even more real now.

As with everything these days, I question if this will be "my last", my last post to you while you are in my belly. This morning I shaved my legs and painted my toe nails. Will those be the last times I do that before you are here? Although, I look forward to doing both of those when you're hear rather than reaching around you all the time. You dad and I killed it on our chores list this weekend, thinking the whole time, will this be the last time I vacuum without you strapped to my chest, etc. The answer is that only you know. Only you know what gender you are, and when you will finally pay us a visit. Go easy on me on your way out, would ya? ;)

I hope this is my last post...

Update at 36 weeks

Hey Baby!

This is how your father addresses you these days. It's usually something to the extent of, "hey baby, what are you doing in there?" as you dramatically throw your limbs around. Your movements these days are so grandiose. I know where you are located (feet in left rib, butt in right rib, spin down the right side into hip, and head in left hip, hands punching in pelivs). It's so fun to be able to identify your movements with the body parts - your kicks are strong but slow, you push your hips out the same, and your hands flutter down quickly. Yesterday, I could have sworn that you ran your fingers individually against my lower stomach. It got me thinking about those hands, how wrinkly they'll be when you come out, your tiny nails, and wrinkled wrists.

I haven't updated too much lately, as you are the easiest, most dramatic baby ever. You don't make me sick, you let me sleep for the most part, and you have given me zero health issues. We had our baby shower for you yesterday. You loved it! We ate well, you got plenty of massages and every conversation was about you, and how excited everyone is to meet you... but no one more than me. Not a single person is awaiting your arrival more than your mamma. I cry at the thought. It's so beautiful that I have been given the gift of carrying you, nourishing you, and birthing you.

My mom made the "birthing you" part very real yesterday. She said that each of her kids (your three uncles, and myself) were all about two weeks early. I have shared a very similar pregnancy to my mother (easy in every way), and anticipate a similar birth (I could only be so lucky). This would put our great meet-date two weeks ago. That makes being a mother SO SO REAL, which it has not yet. I am also prepared to go a few weeks over, so there is a conflicting feeling of panic and get everything ready in preparation vs. continue to enjoy the beauty that is, working hard at work, making plans, etc.

The truth is, regardless of when you come, you will be the most loved baby on earth, potentially ever. We are or will make ourselves be ready when you decide you have incubated long enough. I just hope you want to get good and chubby and don't rush it. I don't quite feel "big" enough to burst yet. You also haven't given me any warning signs (Braxton Hicks, etc.).

If I am as poor at updating this as my track record has shown thus far, the next post may be an update on your name, height and weight!

I love you,
Mamma

You, Class, Trip, Cousin

Sweet Child,

I think about pulling you out of me, seeing your eyes and smushy face, and how perfect that moment will be. It has been unfathomable my whole life until now. Watching birthing videos of mothers getting to do just that bring me to tears. I can't help but put myself in their shoes.

So much of what is discussed between appointments and birthing classes is the process to get to see you. It's important because it can determine your long-term health - vaccinations, vaginal birth, pain medications, etc. At class the other night, we were given cards with different scenarios that helped your dad and I determine what our priorities were intervention-wise. We, of course, were on the same page. The moral of the story is, the birth process is nearing (we are at 31 of potentially 40 weeks) and as much as that should make me nervous, it only gets me excited, because I am that much closer to meeting you.

What's been happening with you and I lately it that you continue you to kick, big kicks, fewer flutters. Some of your "kicks" are more of a roll, a bizarre, slow movement. I understand it's getting a bit tighter in there, so you have less room to move. We are going to change that up, as I gotta get you upside down, get your head toward the bottom, so you aren't a breech babe. I'm going to start swimming and focusing on my positions to allow for gravity to pull your heavy head down. In other news, I've gained 11 pounds in 31 weeks which is not a lot, but you are healthy and I am not heavy. The nurse asked today if I am eating enough. You will see... I have never not eaten enough.

This weekend, your dad and I are picking up your uncle Owen and uncle Michael for a weekend away in Duluth. I am excited to take you there, see the sights, eat the treats, and to listen to the boys giggle like school girls over their college-past.

Speaking of uncles, your uncle Jared and his fiance Heather are PREGNANT!!! You know what that means, YOU WILL HAVE A COUSIN!!! One that is close enough in age to you, that you can share holidays with, play with, share secrets with, someone who shares your blood, your family and will be near enough to experience all these things with. It is the most I could wish for you (outside of your health). I am beyond thrilled to consider the possibilities of your friendship! Also, I get to be an auntie which I hear is the third best thing next to being a mom or grandma. I'll be one, can't be the other, so I pretty much got the best of all worlds.

Good Morning

Sweet Child, it's 4 in the morning. You've had me up since 2 - well, first an awful nightmare awoke me but now it's all you, giving me kicks making so aware of your presence. At first you were just cells and science. Then a heartbeat, a picture, and now a human who has shape, hearing, opinions, and the ability to kick, punch and twirl. You're almost two pounds and over a foot at 26 weeks. You've got a lot more time in me, so keep cooking, keep growing and keep kicking. It jolts me into reality, that one day I will get to see those kicks and hold those toes, as your fingers wrap around mine. 

I've got guilt. I wish I ate less sugar with you, and I wish I worked out more. These challenges are no different than those that plagued me prior to conception. I pray they don't negatively impact you now (diabetes) on into childhood. I'd like to think you're getting more nutrition than most based on our knowledge on the subject. 

This guilt, I realize is likely preparing me for what's to come - the guilt associated with the occasional mac'n'cheese meal. Or when I say the wrong thing. Or when I'm too tired to play. All these things are inevitable. I won't be the perfect parent. No one is. We don't pass a test to be given the honor of raising a child. We are mere humans, doing our best to love, and guide you. In this guidance,

I hope you learn patience, as you will teach me, to learn you forgiveness, and that, despite what I say and do, that you will be good in the world. 

A Soccer Player

I'm sure it's too early to tell... but is it? I mean, you come from two soccer players and you already have some pretty solid kicks. I think it's safe to assume you will be.

We are sitting at 22 weeks now. It's 2016 and the epic year that you will be born and our lives will change forever. I never want to forget how precious this time is, the time where it's just your dad and I, how much I love him, value his words, his hard work and his treatment of me. He is the absolute best friend I could ever ask for, and I need nothing else but what I have in him. Need is the operative word. You are what I want.

P.S. Thank you for kicking the other night. It gave your dad a very solid, very real feel of what's going on in there. Turns out, all you need is a little sugar to go go go!

Communication

Hey Baby! Just the same as I am now communicating with you, you have begun communicating with me. You don't like scary movies and you do love Dueling Pianos. You must love being warm, because you have stolen all of my heat and you really like lefse... or I really like lefse and am using you as my excuse to eat more already; regardless, thank you.

This much I know about you. We were watching Hunger Games (the final installment) which is a series of books turned into action movies featuring the amazing J. Law. Anyway, monsters start attacking her crew and I was terrified - full on knees to chest, squeezing your dad. You kicked me three times to let me know I was passing too much adrenaline on to you. No more [not intended to be] scary movies! But maybe your kicking communication is positive because we were at my work Christmas party last night at the Grand in Northfield listening to the very entertaining Deuces Wild. We sang and danced and sang. During one song, wish I could remember what, you gave out one solid punch. It was fun to know you were there with us. Keep up the communication, sweet child!

In other news, you are showing your growth via my belly. Today is my first day in maternity pants and oh are they good - they way they are snuggling around you, keeping you warm, I may never take them off.

Happy 18 weeks and 6 days, dearest baby!

Better to Know and Feel You

Sweet child,

So much is happening/changing in your world and ours right now. You mamma got a new job with a company that I hope to be with for a majority of your life :) That was a bit stressful, as getting pregnant with you, not knowing if I would have insurance was nerve racking; however, we did our best to keep the negativity from you, and thank goodness - it all worked out! You will see, it always works out, my sweet child.

We have also made the announcement to all of our nearest and dearest outside of family, your step-in aunts and uncles. Most are filled with questions, "Will you find out? Do you have names picked out? Does Saydee know you're pregnant? Are your parents thrilled?" To which we answer that we will not find out; we have a boy and a girl's name, but won't share; Saydee has no idea, but I can't wait to see her protect you; and our parents are beyond thrilled! Your grandma Johnson couldn't help but share with our servers when we were out to eat that she was going to be a grandma.

In other news, your room is coming together quite swimmingly. What was once my closet, will now only house my hanging clothes. This weekend we scraped, mudded, sanded, trimmed and primed. This week will bring painting of the actual room. It will be fun to see it all come together. As I was priming the closet, I said to your father, "this is where our child will first pee on you!" It's a blast to think about having you in person and all the silly things you will do.

Last bit of news, I can feel you! Well, not you you, but your protective layer anyway. When I lean against the counter to do dishes, or makeup, or anything really, I can feel the placenta push back into my other organs. Your dad noticed over lunch that my pelvis area is protruding more than normal or at all. I think it has begun - the part that you are big enough to take notice of!!! There are so many hands that can't wait to rub all over you, your dad being number one.

Announcements

Since hearing your heart beat (the neatest thing my ears have ever processed) and sharing the news with our parents, we have also been able to tell an entire wedding of our friends (Sam & Tiff's wed), as well as some of our brothers.

The tie for the best reaction is between Jackie and Steve Rasmusson and your uncle Kevin. Jackie and Steve hugged and screamed and hugged again seven plus more times. There were tears and more hugs! It's the most fun to tell people who have not witnessed your mother not drinking wine; therefore, known something was up. Your uncle Kevin, who you may have noticed travels less to the sentimental side than your other bros, he said, "when I meet that little baby, my heart will explode!" and I'm sure it will, as it will with all of your other uncles, grandparents, friends.

What do you want to be called?

… chimed my mother as she hugged my mother in law.

We waited ten difficult weeks to share your existence with our parents. The thought of sharing earlier and you not being there, we thought may crush them nearly to the extent it would have crushed us.

Apparently they “all knew” and it was “so obvious”. You see, Zygote, your mom enjoys red wine very much so, and for two months I was not partaking in one of my favorite past times… I guess it was pretty obvious.

Anyway, we had to share right away as there was company coming later that we didn’t want to dilute the brevity of our news. I made the quick announcement, there were some tears, but mostly hugs on hugs on hugs all night long.

I am so looking forward to all the talks to be had with your grandparents over your arrival, to you growing and my stomach stretching, to all the changes that are to come for both of us.

I’m so grateful to be your mother. Thank you for giving me this opportunity, my life long dream. There are four other people in this world now that will love you beyond a love I can conceive, a love they already know because they have been parents, yet a new love I imagine, the love a grandparent has for their grandchild.

Great, you got me crying at work again. One of these days, we’ll get a computer that works at home, and I won’t be messaging you all the live long day.

Like a Hummingbird

Yesterday was the day I had been waiting for since those lovely two lines showed my hormone levels two months ago. Being terrified that something had happened to you, or that my body was just making up this pregnancy, I wasn't sure if you were really in there… until yesterday.

Your father and I met with our nurse-midwife, Amy. It was a great appointment filled with questions and giddy laughter. My two months of nerves were quickly eased by the high-tech stethoscope that could detect you way down in there. It was a speedy 165bpm. Erik said you sounded like a hummingbird (**female name). I just loved hearing yours on top of my pokey beat. You are so small, and your tiny heart is working so hard. It makes me want to give you every advantage possible! 

Thank you for being in there, for making such progress (you’re a kumquat at 10.5 weeks), and for already filling me with so much joy and love. I can wait to meet you, I can wait for you to incubate to your full potential. 

Baby Friends from the Beginning

Hey there baby Zygote of ours!

How’s it going in there? I hear that you’re starting to get hands, their like the size of most my freckles, but that’s still pretty mind-blowing!

I just wanted to share with you that you are not alone in this world, like really really not alone. You will always have your dad and I, your grandparents, uncles (aunts eventually), and friends - my friends and your friends.

Today, one of my nearest and dearest alerted me that she is also with zygote! M zygote will be just about a month behind you. N zygote will be a month and a half before you, and G zygote is almost here, so about 8 months before you. And who knows which of my friends will surprise us with the same, most delightful news in the near future.

Moral of the story is, you are already surrounded by love, in places you won’t know for a long time. I wish that when you are my age, you have great friends (that is my top 3 grandest wish for you) that are in similar stages of life. It’s so fun to share boyfriends/girlfriends, engagements, weddings and babies with your people. I wish you this joy. It is soul-filling.

(less than two weeks till I hear your heartbeat and I am WISHING time away more quickly than ever before)

Kahlil Gibran On Children

Your children are not your children.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- Gibran 

Craversions

Zyg, you’ve put me in quite the pickle (food pun intended). On one hand, I want to feed you all the best lentils, kimchi and veggies; on the otherhand, you want none of it - all you want are sweets/all I want are sweets!

The aversions (as are far more apparent than cravings) began yesterday. Your father had taken everything (apples) with him to the BWCA. I had prepared all sorts of healthy, savory foods for the week, most of which will just sit in the fridge.

This left me with raspberries and ice cream to eat. When life gives you raspberries and ice cream, you make a fruit shake! It was delicious, and naughty and provided none of the support I want to give you.

Today was a little better - aussie bites, tomatoes, red peppers and lentils. It’s not easy to meal prep for you when I don’t know what you will crave at the next turn. My only goal, get enough nutrition in you to get you to the nine month hurdle. Wish me luck/start craving veggies please!

Regardless of the goofiness that you already possess, I appreciate your presence. I love the aversions. I love the burps, the unquenchable thirst, how you’ve thrown my emotions and my PH for a whirl. I love them, because it tells me you are here/there/still needy. Please don’t stop needing my nutrients until after Mother’s Day (due date) or shortly before ;)

Your First Flight

Dear Zygote,

This weekend you went on an epic adventure to Nashville, Tennessee - your first and only flight. Your dad and I agreed that we much preferred you inside my belly to outside during the actual commuting. We highly doubt you will be doing much sky hopping with us for the first MANY years.

We had a blast surprising our buddy, Matt Murphy for his 30th birthday. Melissa went to all lengths to make is such a special weekend for he and us. We went boating (I drove the van out there and the boat on the lake), to a music fest, honkeytonks, and to the biggest best southern family style meal ever! You. Ate. Well!

Basically, I wanted you to know that you were on a flight with us, we had a blast, and your auntie and uncles (Matt, Mel, Linds & Mike) are beyond stoked to meet you. They could not stop raving!

Our Best Summer Yet?

Your father and I have been together over three years, four summers. It all started in the summer of 2012 - I had just moved back from Texas after a recent break up and Erik was going through a life changing reformation/realization of who he wanted to be and what he wanted to put out in the world (good timing, I might add). We were inseparable (minus the Oregon mishap) from the beginning. I heard Dylan (your father’s best friend, the man that married us) call the first 24 hours as Erik’s best. I would have to agree. I was unemployed at the time, so spent every moment at the boys’ house, boating, tubing, playing constantly. You’d think that was our best summer.

The following year began with an engagement - literally on the day that we met, June 1st, 2013. I once asked him after we knew we were ‘it’ for each other when he would propose. His answer, I will never forget, “four seasons”. I took that as the different seasons a relationship went through, different stages of growth. Nope, he meant quite literally 365 days. We spent that summer in sheer bliss that we had found one another, celebrating, and planning our dream day.

That day came June 21st, 2014 - the longest day of the year, summer solstice. It was more than dreams could paint. I still can’t believe that I found your father, that he has committed himself to me and that I get to share the rest of my life with my best friend. I hope one day you too get to share the same joy. That summer was more celebrating - from bachelorette parties, showers, etc.

One year later we are still slaying our summers. Perhaps it’s that we’re Minnesotans, the greatest lovers of summer known to man. It’s certainly that we’re aware you have three months of gorgeous sun to squeeze all your favorite activities in, so squeeze we did. When there was still snow on our ground, I began booking our weekends.

I’ve decided to document this [once again] epic summer, as I never want to forget how much fun we have had. Every parent keeps reminding us, do everything you want to now, once you have a baby, the activities change, sometimes halt altogether. The awesome parents, the ones that continue to live their lives remind us that life changes, but for the better. I am going into this with that mindset. I hope to incorporate you in our activities, to see things through your pure eyes.

Nevertheless, if my hope is pure ignorance, I want this as a record:

(already having forgotten what started the summer - May and the missing weekends which were definitely filled with something)

6/5 - BWCA - too far, brought Saydee, she got eaten, too much food, bugs had popped (Owen, Mike, Tyler, Pat, Erik, Myself)

6/19 - Anniversary weekend in Lanesboro - copper mugs, tubing, biking, bugs, father’s day at Johnson’s (whole fam)

7/3 - Fourth of July in Rochester with Jared and Heather @ Chester Woods and parents, Milwaukee (Candice and Adam), Summerfest, fireworks, brunch, Wisconsin Dells (just the two of us)

7/11 - Claire’s bachelorette party (E at Mike’s cabin) in the cities, dinner at Bario, dancing at Honey, beach, Kevin drove, gay brunch club, drinking, round sprinkler in Claire’s yard

7/17 - Thursdays on First and Legends with the crew,

7/18 - Chelsie’s cabin, paddleboard surfing behind pantoon, beersbee

7/19 - Saints game, peanut eating contest (Erik and I in front of stadium)

7/22 - Eugene, OR with Dylan and Ellen and Nicole, new dog, Kublai, hikes, hot springs, bee stings, waterfalls, best tapas restaurant for Dyl’s birthday, pizza, Mexican, the trimmed view, beach in Wilderness

7/31 - Dan & Erica’s wedding with Dylan and Ellen in hotel, pinstripes, summit, wedding, pool party

8/7 - Devon and Taylor visited, parents, tubing, hiking, Thursdays

8/14 - Emma Heim’s wedding with Jen Heim and new husband time, Billy White

8/15 - tubing for Laura’s bachelorette with Jenna and boys, then out that night

8/16 - parents anniversary, Rob and Claire at TapHouse, then concert by Riverside

8/20 - began Rob and Claire’s wedding festivities, lunch, drinks, rehearsal din, drinks, hair, hotel, wedding

8/21 - Lake day in Prior with Christie’s fam before she left for Hawaii

8/28 - the first weekend Erik and I had to ourselves, so went camping for two nights in Minneopa, pizza and beer, hiking, fishing on shore, frogs, future buffalo, brunch at Rapidan Dam

9/4 - found out I was pregnant with you!!!

9/5 - had to tell Nicole I was pregnant with you bc we were boating together all day for the tie up (Erik at Sam’s bach), began building shed

9/11 - celebrate Bri’s birthday at Rob and Claire’s, paint shed panels all day, first girls soccer game, Rasmusson’s, mom and dad’s (trying to avoid drinking at every turn).

Thus catches us up, though the epic summer is not yet over. This coming weekend we are going to Nashville with Mike and Lindsey to celebrate Matt’s 30th birthday (Mel being the gracious host). Erik leaves two days after we get back for a five day BWCA trip with Mike. I have more soccer, plan to play catchup, and avoid telling people I’m pregnant, maybe paint your nursery. Grandma will visit the following weekend. Matt comes home. We get to see if you’re healthy and have a heartbeat (which all my nerves are pending on), then we celebrate (hopefully). Sam and Tiff get married. Becca and Tim get married. Dan and Erica have a Halloween Open House Party. And that is the end of October which definitely is not summer anymore.

In summary, your dad and I have done everything we have wanted to do besides a honeymoon and that is pending my stupid job. Even if we hadn’t done what we wanted to do, you are what we want to do. Please please please be a survivor so that I might hear your shrill cry. I want to meet you more than I have wanted anything in my entire life. Do it for me ;)