Communication

Hey Baby! Just the same as I am now communicating with you, you have begun communicating with me. You don't like scary movies and you do love Dueling Pianos. You must love being warm, because you have stolen all of my heat and you really like lefse... or I really like lefse and am using you as my excuse to eat more already; regardless, thank you.

This much I know about you. We were watching Hunger Games (the final installment) which is a series of books turned into action movies featuring the amazing J. Law. Anyway, monsters start attacking her crew and I was terrified - full on knees to chest, squeezing your dad. You kicked me three times to let me know I was passing too much adrenaline on to you. No more [not intended to be] scary movies! But maybe your kicking communication is positive because we were at my work Christmas party last night at the Grand in Northfield listening to the very entertaining Deuces Wild. We sang and danced and sang. During one song, wish I could remember what, you gave out one solid punch. It was fun to know you were there with us. Keep up the communication, sweet child!

In other news, you are showing your growth via my belly. Today is my first day in maternity pants and oh are they good - they way they are snuggling around you, keeping you warm, I may never take them off.

Happy 18 weeks and 6 days, dearest baby!

Better to Know and Feel You

Sweet child,

So much is happening/changing in your world and ours right now. You mamma got a new job with a company that I hope to be with for a majority of your life :) That was a bit stressful, as getting pregnant with you, not knowing if I would have insurance was nerve racking; however, we did our best to keep the negativity from you, and thank goodness - it all worked out! You will see, it always works out, my sweet child.

We have also made the announcement to all of our nearest and dearest outside of family, your step-in aunts and uncles. Most are filled with questions, "Will you find out? Do you have names picked out? Does Saydee know you're pregnant? Are your parents thrilled?" To which we answer that we will not find out; we have a boy and a girl's name, but won't share; Saydee has no idea, but I can't wait to see her protect you; and our parents are beyond thrilled! Your grandma Johnson couldn't help but share with our servers when we were out to eat that she was going to be a grandma.

In other news, your room is coming together quite swimmingly. What was once my closet, will now only house my hanging clothes. This weekend we scraped, mudded, sanded, trimmed and primed. This week will bring painting of the actual room. It will be fun to see it all come together. As I was priming the closet, I said to your father, "this is where our child will first pee on you!" It's a blast to think about having you in person and all the silly things you will do.

Last bit of news, I can feel you! Well, not you you, but your protective layer anyway. When I lean against the counter to do dishes, or makeup, or anything really, I can feel the placenta push back into my other organs. Your dad noticed over lunch that my pelvis area is protruding more than normal or at all. I think it has begun - the part that you are big enough to take notice of!!! There are so many hands that can't wait to rub all over you, your dad being number one.

Announcements

Since hearing your heart beat (the neatest thing my ears have ever processed) and sharing the news with our parents, we have also been able to tell an entire wedding of our friends (Sam & Tiff's wed), as well as some of our brothers.

The tie for the best reaction is between Jackie and Steve Rasmusson and your uncle Kevin. Jackie and Steve hugged and screamed and hugged again seven plus more times. There were tears and more hugs! It's the most fun to tell people who have not witnessed your mother not drinking wine; therefore, known something was up. Your uncle Kevin, who you may have noticed travels less to the sentimental side than your other bros, he said, "when I meet that little baby, my heart will explode!" and I'm sure it will, as it will with all of your other uncles, grandparents, friends.

What do you want to be called?

… chimed my mother as she hugged my mother in law.

We waited ten difficult weeks to share your existence with our parents. The thought of sharing earlier and you not being there, we thought may crush them nearly to the extent it would have crushed us.

Apparently they “all knew” and it was “so obvious”. You see, Zygote, your mom enjoys red wine very much so, and for two months I was not partaking in one of my favorite past times… I guess it was pretty obvious.

Anyway, we had to share right away as there was company coming later that we didn’t want to dilute the brevity of our news. I made the quick announcement, there were some tears, but mostly hugs on hugs on hugs all night long.

I am so looking forward to all the talks to be had with your grandparents over your arrival, to you growing and my stomach stretching, to all the changes that are to come for both of us.

I’m so grateful to be your mother. Thank you for giving me this opportunity, my life long dream. There are four other people in this world now that will love you beyond a love I can conceive, a love they already know because they have been parents, yet a new love I imagine, the love a grandparent has for their grandchild.

Great, you got me crying at work again. One of these days, we’ll get a computer that works at home, and I won’t be messaging you all the live long day.

Like a Hummingbird

Yesterday was the day I had been waiting for since those lovely two lines showed my hormone levels two months ago. Being terrified that something had happened to you, or that my body was just making up this pregnancy, I wasn't sure if you were really in there… until yesterday.

Your father and I met with our nurse-midwife, Amy. It was a great appointment filled with questions and giddy laughter. My two months of nerves were quickly eased by the high-tech stethoscope that could detect you way down in there. It was a speedy 165bpm. Erik said you sounded like a hummingbird (**female name). I just loved hearing yours on top of my pokey beat. You are so small, and your tiny heart is working so hard. It makes me want to give you every advantage possible! 

Thank you for being in there, for making such progress (you’re a kumquat at 10.5 weeks), and for already filling me with so much joy and love. I can wait to meet you, I can wait for you to incubate to your full potential. 

Baby Friends from the Beginning

Hey there baby Zygote of ours!

How’s it going in there? I hear that you’re starting to get hands, their like the size of most my freckles, but that’s still pretty mind-blowing!

I just wanted to share with you that you are not alone in this world, like really really not alone. You will always have your dad and I, your grandparents, uncles (aunts eventually), and friends - my friends and your friends.

Today, one of my nearest and dearest alerted me that she is also with zygote! M zygote will be just about a month behind you. N zygote will be a month and a half before you, and G zygote is almost here, so about 8 months before you. And who knows which of my friends will surprise us with the same, most delightful news in the near future.

Moral of the story is, you are already surrounded by love, in places you won’t know for a long time. I wish that when you are my age, you have great friends (that is my top 3 grandest wish for you) that are in similar stages of life. It’s so fun to share boyfriends/girlfriends, engagements, weddings and babies with your people. I wish you this joy. It is soul-filling.

(less than two weeks till I hear your heartbeat and I am WISHING time away more quickly than ever before)

Kahlil Gibran On Children

Your children are not your children.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,

which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them,

but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children

as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,

and He bends you with His might

that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer’s hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies,

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- Gibran